


Hotel California

by BlackAcre13



Series: Song to Song [5]
Category: Ocean's 8 (2018)
Genre: Alternate Canon, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Debbie dies before she gets out, During Canon, F/F, Flashbacks, Ghost Debbie, Ghosts, Grief/Mourning, Heist Wives, I Love You, I curse like a sailor again, I love you left unsaid, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Lou can't deal with it, Mourning Lou, Prison, heist girlfriends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-14 04:46:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29165172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackAcre13/pseuds/BlackAcre13
Summary: “Who the hell are you?” Lou spat.“Lou, honey,” Debbie laughed. “Don’t you know how ghosts work?”Lou was too shocked and confused to answer. The alleged Debbie sat at the foot of the bed and patted the space beside her.With a grumble, Lou messily got on her feet and sat down cautiously next to her. She thought to herself, and the supposed Debbie waited, but Lou could feel her watching her face intently.“You’re here,” Lou chose as her starter.
Relationships: Lou Miller & Debbie Ocean, Lou Miller/Debbie Ocean
Series: Song to Song [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2057028
Comments: 4
Kudos: 12





	1. Part One

**Author's Note:**

> Shout out to washing dishes and shuffling Spotify for this one. At it again with multi chapter one-shots *facepalm*

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One Ocean after another, chasing each other like waves, rolling into each other and cracking, crashing into each other with a final burst and dissipating into nothingness.
> 
> Lou knew the truth. Had to accept it. Had to face it. But this was Debbie. Her Debbie. And it wasn’t fair. No way in hell with this any fair at all.

_On a dark desert highway_

_Cool wind in my hair_

_Warm smell of caritas_

_Rising up through the air_

_Up ahead in the distance_

_I saw a shimmering light_

_My head grew heavy and my sight grew dim_

_I had to stop for the night_

**Hotel California by The Eagles**

_Debbie. Debbie. Debbie. How could you do this to me?_

Not to me, Lou corrected herself. How could the universe do this to Debbie? To her? To them?

_Guilty. Six years. Chance for parole._

She had suffered, wept, and begged for those years. Overcome demons that tormented her in nightmares and liquor bottles and skipped meals. And she had fixed herself up. For her. For Debbie. Gotten the club. For her. For Debbie. The loft. For her. For…

“Fuck you, Claude Becker. You fucking, god damn fuck.” She seethed through her teeth.

She blinked her eyes rapidly trying not to cry while she was on her bike. She would find somewhere. A motel. A bench. Who cared? Where she could cry her eyes out until her heart ached any less if that were possible. Away from the city, from that prison, from the heist that could have been.

Debbie was only in there because of him. Lou couldn’t protect her because of him. And as much as it pained her to say it, Debbie was in there because of her. Because she’d left. Too many years ago. Before realizing that she was in love with Deborah Ocean. Too many years too late.

And she was going to tell her. But it didn’t feel like the proper thing to say while Debbie was cuffed to a wall of a pay phone or texting it and making Debbie’s contraband cell phone glow bright in her cell and she could only risk reading the words and not hearing them. And even during visits…it wasn’t the same. It was Debbie but that wasn’t _her_ Debbie.

And now it was all too late. She could never say the words again, though she said them all the time like a mantra. But she would never be able to see Debbie’s face or hear her reaction. Or, Lou gulped, hear if in fact, Debbie was in love with her too. And Lou knew with all her heart and soul that Debbie loved her too. She did. She had to. _But what the fuck did it even matter anymore?_

Lou needed a god damn cigarette. Fuck quitting. She’d done it for Debbie. Chewed that stupid gum for Debbie. Because Debbie said she didn’t mind, but Lou knew she hated it because it put Lou in harm’s way. Done it for Debbie in case one day, they wanted to have kids.

_What did it fucking matter now anyway?_

She kept her eyes peeled for a lodging sign on the highway. She needed to get off her bike. Her old bike that she’d been letting rust to shit that she probably shouldn’t have been riding because she knew she was about to come into some money allowing her to splurge for the ridiculous bike she’d always wanted. But then there was no job, after all. No heist, no nothing, no Debbie.

She wanted to lean against a cool brick wall in this damn heat and inhale slowly, counting the seconds and the heartbeats as the smoke curled free from the tip of her cigarette.

_Debbie. Debbie. Debbie._

She took the nearest exit ramp seeing a few independent hotel logos and veered off into the nearest one’s circle driveway.

She tossed a few dirty, curled-up bills at the valet and practically threw her keys at him before swinging the small backpack and toiletry case from her saddle bags and throwing them over her shoulders.

“Where can I smoke?” she croaked, haven’t had spoken a word to another soul in weeks.

He signaled to the side of the building and she strode off, her riding boots pounding against the pavement.

After two too many cigarettes, Lou clambered inside, now throwing a stack of twenties that looked too straight and new at the fumbling concierge, who handed over the key, dangling from a plastic keychain, with a shocked look on her face.

Lou nodded her thanks and swiped a toothpick from the counter, popping it in her mouth to replace the cigarette she was already missing.

***

Lou awoke to a pitch-black room, unsure of where she was for a moment. It was dark outside and the curtains were completely drawn shut, not letting a single crack of light break through.

She’d apparently dosed off fully dressed aside from her jacket. Shoes on and all. She fumbled as she moved her small belongings to the bench across from the bed and slowly unzipped her shoes to step out of them.

Hazily, Lou meandered back to the foot of the bed and sat down, rubbing her eye and patting her cheeks a bit to wake herself up.

_Debbie, Debbie, Debbie._

She kept doing this to herself. Debbie had been on her mind pretty much 24/7, and when she disappeared from her thoughts, Lou dragged her right back, too terrified to not think about her. She wasn’t sure which one was more painful.

“Debbie,” she whispered, her voice cracking.

_When was the last time you spoke to another human being?_ She wondered to herself.

But she knew the answer. Knew it had been her curt response to Reuben as he wondered aloud how in the world this could happen and how sickeningly, darkly serendipitous this was. One Ocean after another, chasing each other like waves, rolling into each other and cracking, crashing into each other with a final burst and dissipating into nothingness.

Lou knew the truth. Had to accept it. Had to face it. But this was Debbie. Her Debbie. And it wasn’t fair. No way in hell with this any fair at all.

But there it was, tickling the corners of her mind like hot whispers against her skull.

Deborah Ocean was dead.


	2. Part Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Who the hell are you?” Lou spat.
> 
> “Lou, honey,” Debbie laughed. “Don’t you know how ghosts work?”
> 
> Lou was too shocked and confused to answer. The alleged Debbie sat at the foot of the bed and patted the space beside her.
> 
> With a grumble, Lou messily got on her feet and sat down cautiously next to her. She thought to herself, and the supposed Debbie waited, but Lou could feel her watching her face intently.
> 
> “You’re here,” Lou chose as her starter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I may have cried while writing this, but I am not responsible if this causes tears. I hope you enjoy!

Part Two:

_There she stood in the doorway_

_I heard the mission bell_

_And I was thinking to myself_

_‘this could be heaven or this could be hell’_

_Then she lit up a candle and she showed me the way_

_Welcome to the hotel California_

_Such a lovely place, such a Lovely face_

_…you can check out any time you like but you can never leave_

“Lou.”

_Debbie, Debbie, Debbie._

Lou shifted in the bed, swatting at her bangs caught in her eyes, but remained asleep.

“Lou?”

She let out a low groan at the uninvited noise that had caused her to think about Debbie once more, before she was even remotely awake.

_Debbie, Debbie, Debbie._

“Baby?”

_You sound like Debbie, too._

“You’re not real,” Lou whispered into her pillow, noticing the material was stained with tears and drool. She must have dreamed about Debbie again. Even when she thought she had a dreamless, deep sleep, Debbie always seemed to be there.

“You don’t exist anymore.” Lou muttered aloud, speaking to the room while trying to persuade herself, hypnotize herself, anything really.

“Well, that’s a bit rude.” Someone huffed.

“Tammy?” Lou asked, squinting her eyes through the dark.

There was no denying the faint shape of a person standing at the foot of the bed, arms crossed.

“I keep telling you to wear your glasses more, but you only wear them around the loft,” the figure chuckled with a sigh.

“Debs?” Lou whispered, not believing her eyes.

“Miss me?” Debbie smirked.

“That’s not funny, Debbie. That’s—how do you—how the hell—” Lou panted frantically, unable to finish a complete thought. It was impossible. It couldn’t be. This was a cruel joke. This was someone else trying to make her life a living hell.

Debbie waited, a smile playing at her red-painted lips as Lou sprinted forward, messily crawling down the bed, getting tangled in sheets and blankets as she went. She lunged forward, intent on shaking the person’s shoulders and demanding they tell her what was happening, but as soon as her hands reached out, she crumpled to the floor head-first.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Debbie muttered.

Lou looked up at Debbie, who was still standing at the foot of the bed, but now facing Lou, who remained shocked and confused on the ground. She rubbed at her neck and shoulder, trying to piece things together.

“Who the hell are you?” Lou spat.

“Lou, honey,” Debbie laughed. “Don’t you know how ghosts work?”

Lou was too shocked and confused to answer. The alleged Debbie sat at the foot of the bed and patted the space beside her.

With a grumble, Lou messily got on her feet and sat down cautiously next to her. She thought to herself, and the supposed Debbie waited, but Lou could feel her watching her face intently.

“You’re here,” Lou chose as her starter. Debbie continued to wait.

She didn’t know who this was. It was impossible for her to really be Debbie, right? Or even some form of her. Lou didn’t know if she believed in anything paranormal or from another realm, but then again, if it gave her Debbie back in some way, even if only temporarily…

“How long do we have?” Lou asked, tears brimming at her eyes.

“As long as we want,” Debbie smiled.

“So forever?” Lou sniffed, half-honest and half dripping with sarcasm.

“I think death got in the way of forever,” Debbie admitted. “But if I had…if I could, I…”

“I know,” Lou smiled softly, placing her hand on top of Debbie’s. She looked down at the bedspread in disbelief as her hand missed Debbie’s and hit the bed instead.

Debbie looked into Lou’s eyes with matching watery ones, save mahogany instead of ice. “I wasn’t joking before. You can’t touch me, Lou.”

“But I—”

“Me too.”

Lou leaned in closer to Debbie, hoping to at least breathe in the smell of her, but there was no fragrance or the smell of just Debbie alone. She leaned forward, burying her face in her hands.

Debbie leaned over her, and Lou knew she was wishing she could hold Lou and comfort her with a hug, or some back rubs, or a kiss. But it was all null.

Lou wasn’t sure if she was about to have a panic attack or a heart attack. She still wasn’t sure if any of this was real at all. But she knew in her heart that they would never have enough time, even in this twisted, miniature respite, that Debbie had granted her. She could breathe into a paper bag or choke on her own tears any other day. She had plenty of mourning to do. But she only had this form of Debbie, her Debbie, right now.

“Lay down with me?” Lou whispered, sitting up.

Debbie nodded and watched as Lou pushed herself up the bed to the pillows before laying flat. Debbie lay beside her and put her hand out, pinky to pinky with Lou. Lou wished that she could even feel just that tip of her pinky. Her lips. Anything at all. But she was pining and dreaming again, and not speaking to Debbie, like she had wanted for so many seconds and minutes and hours and days.

“How did it happen?” Lou asked the ceiling. She didn’t know if she could look into Debbie’s eyes if she told her the truth.

“Does it matter?” Debbie asked instead.

“Honestly, no,” Lou sighed. “But if it’s someone I could hurt back. Could make them understand. Or take someone they loved away from them…”

“You wouldn’t do it.”

“Of course, I would,” Lou hissed. “I would kill for you, Debbie.”

“I know,” she laughed. “But that’s precisely why you wouldn’t. Hey, look at me.”

Lou turned to the side, tears spilling down her cheeks. “Whoever they were, they took you away from me. We never had another chance to be us. To be in love. To spend our lives together. I don’t even know if that’s what you would—would have wanted. I didn’t know—I still don’t know—if you…”

“I love you,” Debbie smiled, failing to brush Lou’s hair strand behind her ear. “I’ve always loved you.”

“Then why…” Lou sobbed facing Debbie, wishing she could lay on her chest and feel her heartbeat. She wasn’t even sure what she was asking.

_Why did you leave? Or why did you wait to tell me I loved you?_

“I was stupid to leave you. The worst decision I ever made. It landed me in jail, and it literally killed me and took me away from you. The reasons don’t matter now. I can’t change the past. I just wish I had told you that I still loved you—that I still do.”

Lou batted her lashes, blinking in surprise. “You can read minds now?”

“No,” Debbie laughed. “I just knew they would be on your mind. They’re the questions I’ve asked myself over and over the last few years. Reminding myself that I walked, that I left, that I lost you and I deserved to.”

“You didn’t deserve that,”

“I did,” Debbie nodded. “Maybe not death, but to lose you and to run off and try to work with someone else I didn’t know. Someone you warned me about. I deserved to get in trouble for it. Rot in prison.”

“Debbie…”

“But I knew I wanted you back. I was going to tell you everything. How sorry I was, that I love you, that I want to spend my life with you. I had a plan.”

“I know you had a plan,” Lou chuckled.

“A plan to tell you all of that. The truth.” Debbie defended herself.

“And a big job.” Lou raised her eyebrows.

“A huge job. A heist,” Debbie winked. “It was jewels. Spectacular, great, big, blingy, big ol' Liz Taylor jewels. Still locked in a vault fifty feet underground.”

“How would we have gotten them out of the vault?” Lou frowned.

“Oh, they would have brought them to us.” Debbie grinned.

“That’s all I get to know?”

“No,” Debbie smiled. “It’s yours if you want it. But only if you want. I know you have the club now. I’m glad. You’ve wanted one for so long.”

“I do love the club, but I’ll think about it.”

“Okay,” Debbie smiled, closing her eyes.

“So, you’re a ghost. How’s Danny?” Lou asked. “At least out of all this…”

“I haven’t seen him,” Debbie admitted, eyes still closed. “That’s not how it works. I’m afraid I can’t tell you much either. Just that there’s things I want to do before I move on. And he’s moved on. Maybe then.”

“Am I one of the things you wanted to do?” Lou grinned, but the words caught in her throat.

“The most important one,” Debbie spoke truthfully, turning to face Lou.

“I love you, Debs. So, so fucking much. I would’ve married you. I still—”

“I love you too, Lou. More than you’ll ever know.”

“What if we…”

“Lou, you can’t be married to a corpse,” Debbie sighed. “Or a ghost. That’s not fair to you or to me. You love me, you’ll have to let me go, because you love me.”

“There’s no one else, Debbie. There’s never been anyone else that compares,” Lou sobbed. “And I don’t want anyone else.”

“You will,” Debbie smiled sadly. “Maybe not tomorrow, or next year. But one day, you’ll see her and you’ll know.”

“There’s only you,” Lou promised, almost angry that Debbie could suggest that she would ever move on.

“I’ll keep any eye out for someone good,” Debbie winked. “Never as hot as me, of course. But someone close.”

Lou laughed softly, secretly pushing that plan away. “So, now what?”

“It’s up to you. Your timeline.” Debbie spoke.

“I want to lay here with you,” Lou decided.

“Okay.”

“For as long as we need.”

“Okay, baby.”

“I don’t know for how long that will be,” Lou admitted. “But I can’t decide that now. Is that okay? You’ll stay?”

“I’ll stay, Lou. For as long as we need.”

“I love you, honey.” Lou whispered.

“I love you too, baby. Always.” Debbie whispered.

And Debbie stayed. Lou didn’t know how long they lay there together. Debbie chiding her to eat something and watching along as she did asking Lou to describe the taste. Looking at each other and panting each other’s names as they came over the edge on their own fingers that couldn’t touch each other like they so badly wanted. Laughing about things and crying over others. Letting Debbie tell her about the Toussaint in case she wanted to do the job herself with a team half pre-selected by Debbie.

And then all too soon, Lou was on her bike again, Debbie behind her.

“I just want to see everything before I—” Debbie had whispered.

“Don’t tell me when you let go,” Lou begged before she revved the engine.

She headed down the California coast, bound for New York, feeling murmurs and whispers from Debbie as they went. State to state. Stopping at bars and diners and dives. Lou felt cold in her veins as they crossed the border from New Jersey to New York, and as she neared Brooklyn, she knew Debbie was gone.

“I love you, Debbie. I love you.” She whispered.

_I love you too, baby. I love you._ She heard in the air. But she couldn’t tell if it was really Debbie. Her Debbie. The Debbie she let go in spirit, but would never let out of her heart.

_Debbie. Debbie. Debbie._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry I killed her, but she'll be back...in spirit (that was such a bad pun)


End file.
